Autistic Meltdown versus a Tantrum: What’s the Difference?

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To the onlooker, an angry outburst or loss of control during an autistic meltdown could appear like some kind of tantrum. But that would be an incorrect assumption. Tantrums need an audience. They are driven by a desire to achieve a particular outcome. The classic example is the child who throws themselves on the floor in the supermarket when they are refused a chocolate bar. The behaviour changes when the need has been met or it is ignored.

In contrast, autistic meltdowns are an involuntary, intense response to an overwhelming situation. They happen regardless of audience and can occur when the person is alone. There is no specific motivation in mind, or intention to manipulate a situation.

According to The Autistic Society, meltdowns are “a temporary loss of control of behaviour that occurs when an autistic person reaches the point of sensory, emotional or information overload.” An emotional explosion that looks like a tantrum and could involve crying and shouting. Or alternatively, an implosion, when the person becomes unable to speak or feels detached. For some autistic people, extreme meltdowns can become a crisis situation and result in self-harm and suicidal ideation.

What Causes an Autism Meltdown in Adults?

Meltdowns can be triggered by a single event, or after a number of smaller situations add up and become too much to deal with.

A common cause is sensory dysregulation. Sounds, textures, smells, light, and movement can become so overwhelming that an autistic person’s equilibrium becomes off balance. Sources of anxiety, such as thinking about high-stress events or particular social interactions, can also be triggers.

Meltdowns are also common if an autistic person finds it difficult to communicate and express their needs to others and get support. Sometimes a meltdown is the only way a person has to express that something is wrong.

Some experiences might make an autistic person less able to cope with triggers and more vulnerable to a meltdown. Situations that require increased social interaction, or that place high demands on executive function (mental skills that help plan, focus, and remember instructions), or during mental or physical illness.

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What to Do During an Autistic Meltdown

Autistic people need time and space to recover from a meltdown. They need a quiet and safe place with reduced sensory overload. Lights should be dimmed, loud music turned off, interaction with other people reduced, and the input of new information minimised.

Many autistic adults have trouble thinking and with memory during a meltdown, and may not even remember they had one.

People around them should stay calm and ask them if they are okay, but recognise it may take them time to respond.

What Strategies Can Autistic People Use to Deal with Meltdowns?

Identify triggers and minimise them

Causes of an autistic meltdown vary in autistic people, so it can be a good idea to record what happened before and after each meltdown in a diary. It might be possible to see patterns. Meltdowns may happen at specific places, or times, or when something in particular happens. If moods, levels of tiredness and stress are recorded, it can help to spot what is causing meltdowns and to plan to minimise them. Ask the following questions:

• What was going on when I had a meltdown last time?
• Is the type of situation I’m going into the same type of situation that has triggered a meltdown in the past?
• Can I avoid putting myself into that situation until a time when I feel more rested and less stressed?

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Get the right support

The loss of control during a meltdown can be scary to both the person with autism and those around them. Every person with autism deserves the right kind of support. If they are able, autistic adults should explain what’s happening when a meltdown occurs, as this should, hopefully, lead to their loved ones becoming both understanding and supportive.

Support from groups of autistic people with similar experiences can help too. Local networks or online forums can offer guidance on how to minimise triggers and provide tips on how to recover.

Avoid shame

For many autistic people, the loss of control during a meltdown is humiliating or embarrassing and can result in a sense of shame. But meltdowns are, for many, an inevitable part of having autism. However much effort is put into avoiding triggers and managing emotional regulation, they just end up in a place that sends their senses into overload, or experience a relatively small upset that results in a meltdown. At these times, it is important for the autistic person to accept they are not to blame and try to avoid shame.

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Deal with the after-effects of meltdown

Meltdowns can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Adults with autism benefit by recognising beforehand what helps them to recover and in having a strategy in place for the next time. Some people deal with them best by simply being alone. Others may want to do the kind of things that help to calm them such as taking a walk, listening to music, playing a computer game, reading, doing puzzles, or more energetic activities, such as going to the gym.

Have coping strategies in place

Making a plan isn’t going to stop the meltdowns, but it can help reduce their impact and help autistic adults, and others, normalise them as part of their autistic experience.

Strategies can be developed to manage anxiety. Building relaxation time into a routine can help autistic people feel calmer and better able to manage when something that could trigger a meltdown occurs. This will vary from person to person and could consist of quiet activities or more strenuous activities.

Look at addressing communication difficulties. As autistic people can find it difficult to express their wants and needs, it can be valuable to look at particular ways to communicate via visual means or via written communication. Technology, such as instant messaging, can be helpful to reduce the need for socialising face to face, which can be exhausting for some.

For someone who experiences sensory overload, listening to calming music on headphones to block out loud noises and avoiding crowds of people could be helpful. Or creating a low arousal environment by removing bright lights or using sensory equipment such as glasses with dark or coloured lenses, ear defenders, a weighted blanket, or stress ball.

Consistent, predictable routines and structure are very important for autistic people, and a change to routine can be very distressing. Developing a plan for proposed changes in a schedule and clear timetables for when things will occur can help autistic people navigate the change from one activity to another.

My Personal Account of Exploding and Imploding

Meltdowns for me can be very explosive, or sometimes, more implosive. I can get overwhelmed by small things, such as being put on the spot to come up with a verbal response immediately, as I’m more comfortable with written communication. When I was younger, this resulted in an inability to speak at all. I have been known to run away and hide (often in a toilet). When I’ve had no means of escape, I have exploded in sudden and uncontrolled rage, to the surprise and confusion of those around at the time.

As I got older, I have learned to identify the type of situations that may lead to overwhelm and have tried to develop strategies to best support myself in situations where I may encounter stressful stimuli. Obviously, it’s not always possible to do this as life has a habit of throwing unpredictable or uncontrollable events at you. One of the best things I’ve learned to do is schedule regular recovery time for myself. A long bath, listening to calming music, or an evening reading an engrossing novel.

Get Support from Exceptional Individuals

If you’re looking for tailored support, Exceptional Individuals can help. Our workplace needs assessments identify practical strategies and reasonable adjustments to help you thrive at work. We also offer specialist coaching to help you develop coping strategies, build on your strengths, and navigate challenges in a way that works for you.

For employers wanting to better support autistic team members, our neurodiversity training helps managers and colleagues understand autism and create more inclusive environments.

Contact us to find out how we can support you.